“Man evicted from Dansaert resto for saying ‘Bonjour’”

A young European Commission official was controversially evicted from up-market Rue Dansaert eaterie ‘Bonsoir Clara’ for breezily saying “bonjour” as he arrived to claim his pre-reserved table. The incident which occurred at approximately 20.30 on a busy Friday evening is said to have left the young British fonctionnaire ‘inconsolable’, and caused a food fight between rival factions in the smoking and non-smoking sections.

Police who arrived at the trendy brasserie were confronted by chaotic scenes. “The windows were coated with duck a l’orange”, reported police Commissaris Dentergems. Three people were last night being treated for minor injuries, two others for shock. According to Dentergems, stunned female staff of the hip bistro gave new meaning to the term ‘Dames Blanche’.

Restaurant critics are unsurprised by the turn of events, one calling the incident “an accident waiting to happen”. Another noted that although the more seriously anti-social waiters generally inhabited the older café’s, standards across the industry are generally “merde”.

The restaurant worker involved has, however, staunchly defended the actions which provoked the mayhem. “I just cannot abide by people who insist upon saying bonjour after sundown,” he says. As police continued their enquiries the young man was unrepentant. Complaining about plummeting standards of speech and grammar, he talks about “the last straw” and sighs audibly at the memory of a recent request for a steak tartar ‘bien cuit’.

Inside: A short history of why the service charge is included in Belgian restaurant and café bills.