Tuesday, February 27

and that was the week that was....

Walloon Minister for Budget and Finance, Michel Daerden, is to inflict a CD single upon an unsuspecting Belgian public. La Derniere Heure reports that it is to be called ‘Daerden’s Song’ – well he was hardly going to call it Verhofstad’s Song now was he.

Daerden does not actually sing on his record, he speaks. Hopefully the words will make more sense than they did when he gave his ‘victory interview’ following the elections last October. Tired and emotional is the phrase I believe. Three sheets to the wind. Pissed as a fart.

A true original is Mr Daerden. The Witloof can’t remember too many people making the leap from politics to music. Although willing to be corrected, moving in the other direction is much more popular.

Man! ample ass, lady crooner!

Brussels has been inflicted with several “singers” who think that they have more to offer than simple song. Nana Mouskouri was an MEP from 1994-1999. Rosemary Scallon, won the 1970 Eurovision Song Contest as Dana, had a stint in Brussels between 1999 and 2004 although little did we know at the time that Dana Rosemary Scallon MEP is an anagram of Man! ample ass, lady crooner!

Speaking of the Eurovision Belgium announced Krazy Mess Groovers as the latest in a long line of representatives seeking to emulate the feat of Sandra ‘J’aime la vie’ Kim in 1986. As Flanders news puts it, they can’t spell so let’s just hope they can sing.

Celt man gone!

Even if they lose and according to UK bookmakers they certainly will, Belgium’s Eurovision future looks rosy, for it turns out that three time eurovision winner Johnny Logan is embroiled in a paternity dispute with Belgian singer Wendy van Wanton. Johnny is vigorously denying that he is the father of van Wanton’s youngest son Clément.

Let’s take another look at the hard evidence that moustachioed comedian Bert Kruismans presents us with. He substantiates his allegations by referring to the fact that a) the 2 singers know each other, b) together, they recorded the song "You've really got a hold on me" c) Mr Logan was in Belgium at the time of the birth.

As if all of that wasn’t enough, the witloof can exclusively reveal that, C!ement Logan turns out to be an anagram of Celt man gone! Johnny, we think it is time that you started paying that alimony…..

Ali G prepared for violence at Batibouw

And finally, Ali G sensationally turned up to the opening ceremony of Belgian building fair Batibouw promising violence to anyone who would listen. It appears that G, having misinterpreted the pronunciation of the event, believed that it would bring together Belgian homosexuals for a week long celebration of being batiboys.

Ok, so that last one I just made up.

No comments: